"Are you ready to rumble....!"
Okay, not so fast. I posed the same question about strategies for not to being argumentative to our small group Tuesday evening. Here are some very helpful answers I received.
* Esteem others more highly than yourself. This includes esteeming their opinion more highly than your own.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).
* Remember your own history of being wrong in arguments.
* Wait until your emotions calm down to discuss the issue.
* Start praying sooner!
* Consider the other person's emotional make-up.
* Approach older men as fathers and younger men as brothers; approach older women as mothers and younger women as sisters.
"Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity" (I Timothy 5:1-2).
* Give the other person an "out" in the argument. No one likes it when you go for the jugular.
* Don't take up the offence; leave it lay.
"A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression" (Proverbs 19:11).
"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins" (I Peter 4:8).
* Grant others the same leeway you grant yourself.
"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12).
* LISTEN!!! LISTEN!!! LISTEN!!!
"This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger" (James 1:19).
Any other ideas or comments?
posted by mwh @ 3:39 PM
3 Comments:
I think that pretty much covers it on how to avoid arguing. I think the big thing is to not look down on people but up at them. If you look up at them you'll be less likely to argue with them. One reason that I know I always end up arguing is to impress other people around me, at work we have a boss that no one likes so when I was younger I decided to stand up against the boss to show everyone that I was touch and I could handle him. Needless to say no one was impressed and it did nothing productive, only destructive.
I think that Dominic is RIGHT! When i am thinking of the other person more highly than myself... i am not going to be rude or mean, it just won't work, like arguing with the President, why would i try to make him feel bad or stupid, he is way more important than me ( for example ) .... I also LOVE the LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN comment, i always want to be HEARD, HEARD, HEARD :)....so i should extend that to others, instead of myself! (btw...i will only be able to do this as i ask for God's help)
I don't think that you're the only one that can only do that with God's help. I know I can only do it with His help too and I going to say that no one can do it without God's help. Everyone has pride and to listen and not be heard is breaking your pride and letting someone else be noticed other than yourself and that's against everyone's, except the most humble of people, grain. I would add to that though that the most humble of people are humble because they have a true and close relationship with God.
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